Her Success Is Not Your Failure

I consider myself a successful woman, mother, and wife. I also consider myself a failure at times, in all of the aforementioned areas. I have successfully created a home for us, while maintaining either a career or keeping a tiny human alive. I have created a community here where other women {and maybe men too} can feel comfortable and share in my life. I have had a lot of success in my lifetime thus far, but I have had equally as many failures. I fail to honor my Savior like I should. I fail to respect my husband the way that I'm called to in my marriage. I fail to always see the good in others. I struggle with self-doubt, anxiety, and jealousy on top of all of that. Since entering into the Instagram world to promote my blog and my passions, I have encountered women from all walks of life, most of whom barely know my name, let alone actually know ME. What they don't know is that they've impacted my life in a very profound way; in a way that touches on all of the successes + failures I mentioned above. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but I'm going to try.

See, when I first started blogging several years ago, I did it primarily to update family on the goings on of our lives, and then I slowly started gaining "followers", if you will. I used to get so excited every time another "view" would show up on my blog stats page. It became a bit of a trap. I was blogging to try to fit in, not to try to stand out. I posted what I thought people wanted to hear or see, and while there's certainly nothing wrong with appealing to an audience, the focus that I had was wrong. I set myself up for failure because I wasn't being totally myself. Several months ago, after my third or fourth brief hiatus from blogging, I got a renewed sense of passion + success. I found great joy in blogging and sharing my life with complete strangers {as opposed to JUST family + close friends} who shared my same interests, primarily motherhood and design on a budget. Finally, I felt like blogging, for me, felt like it should. It felt very right.

I found myself writing pieces for my blog very naturally without much thought, almost in a journalistic type fashion. I am continually sharing bits of my marriage, my motherhood journey, and my "tips" on how to decorate on a budget based on what I've done. I truly, truly LOVE what I'm doing and I think people can see that through this blog + through the pictures I share on Instagram/Facebook, at least that's my hope. I'm not getting paid for anything that I do {at this point in time}, but my time now is filled with more than just chores, taking care of Emmie {which I love}, and reality television.  I feel like I have a purpose and this is somehow part of it. I am sharing life with others, which is what God calls us to do. Sure, online relationships don't replace real life ones and I don't intend to let that occur, but it is really neat to see how God has brought some amazing women into my life through my short time blogging/Instagramming {from more of a "business" standpoint and less of a personal one}. I am so grateful that I found my niche.

Now, I'm about to detour slightly + get brutally honest for a minute because this has been weighing heavy on my mind for some time. I know I'm not alone in this. I struggle with Insta-envy. I see something that I don't have, and I get envious. I have determined some ways to squelch it, but it still finds me more often than not. My biggest point of contention right now is envy of other people's success, primarily as it relates to blogging/IG. I don't want to sound silly or petty, and hopefully I'm portraying this in a way that doesn't come across that way, but I'm struggling y'all. It's not that I don't support my friends and their accomplishments, because I most definitely do, but I struggle to find a balance between being supportive and being critical. I came across this quote a while back and I literally think about it every day.

Just because someone else is writing about similar content, or has a similar idea, doesn't mean they copied you or they think your ideas are a joke. It doesn't mean that they're perspective is better or worse, it's just different. Just because someone has been featured more widely across Instagram or has hundreds {or even thousands} of followers more than you, doesn't mean that people don't love what you bring to the table just as much. It is SO easy for me to be critical and judgmental when it comes to blogging or home decor. I will openly admit to that. But, I'm not ashamed of it because it's human sinful nature and THANK GOD, I have a Savior to rescue me from the depths of my despair. I am continually being challenged to remember that "her success is not {my} failure". God calls me to be a light in the darkness, and I want to make my voice heard, not because I want you to hear MY words per se, but because I want you to know that if you fight any of the same battles that I fight or if you find joy in any of the same things that I find joy in, you aren't alone. I think so many of us fight inward battles that we're too afraid to put out there for fear of rejection. Well, I guess I don't care if I get rejected because I just put it out there for the entire world. Just remember ladies, moms, bloggers, DIY'ers, that I support you even when sometimes I don't feel like I want to. Truth is, I really do want you to succeed, just as much as I want to succeed. Sometimes though, sometimes it's just plain hard to be happy for you, but I try my darndest every dang day.

Now, with all that behind us, go show some love to someone that maybe you'd prefer if just once they'd fail because it'd make YOU feel better. That's not a good mindset. Actually, it's really selfish, but we've all had that thought a time or two most likely. Ha. We are all just as equally screwed up, so let's be as supportive as we can and choose kindness, just like my bracelets preach. It's better for everyone. XO!