Life is a series of changing how you do + think about things. What's the saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Well, I'd like to challenge that. Just because life gives you lemons doesn't mean you need to immediately turn them into something sweet like lemonade. Perhaps, life {or God} gives us lemons to make us appreciate the process of turning lemons into lemonade. Lemons are sour. Lemons aren't generally most people's first choice in fruit, at least not when eaten alone. {If you're reading this and you love lemons by themselves, then you're the minority, but GO YOU!} See lemons taste better when paired with other things, like on tacos, or fish, or when mixed with sugar to create a sweet lemonade. Lemons themselves are not bad, not at all. Sour? Yes, but not bad. This is much like the "lemons" in life. But how?
Life is a lot like a lemon in that it throws us some sour times and then it greets us with sweet times after the process of removing the sour is gone. I've been learning that just because I don't like lemons on their own doesn't mean I don't eat them and it certainly doesn't mean I just toss them aside. Life, like lemons, has handed me a fair share of troubles. Maybe not in terms of illness or miscarriage or chronic pain, like it has for many of you reading his, but it's given me quite a bit of emotional turmoil. My marriage has been through more than many of your marriages. My journey in motherhood has been different from most moms I know personally. My adjustment to stay-at-home mom life has been an unexpected journey. My constant struggle between fighting my selfish desires and giving up control has been much like a lemon: tough, difficult to peel without some tools, and sour to the core. But you know, much like a lemon, there have been seeds of hope scattered along the process of turning lemons to lemonade.
For the longest time, I made excuses for myself and others. I didn't always see the possibility of change occurring. I would question God. I would question myself. I would question life in general, as in, what is my purpose here? Then, when my marriage hit a really hard time, and when motherhood wasn't anything like what I expected, I wanted to toss every last lemon life handed me in the trash and just give up. I didn't want to expend the energy to view those lemons as a process of turning me into a better, wiser version of myself. I didn't want to use those lemons to change my perspective. But, like most things, just when you start thinking that you will never be able to change something, life throws you a curveball, or a reminder that changes your entire viewpoint, thus chasing the entire outcome.
Perspective is a powerful tool. Allow me to share with you some ways in which changing my perspective in a few particular areas of my life has in fact CHANGED my life:
1.
Marriage. I used to think marriage was going to be easy and constantly fun. Then, I got married and I quickly learned that marriage ain't all lemonade. In fact, I'd say marriage is a whole lot of lemons, with the occasional lemonade thrown in there. I'm no stranger to admitting that marriage is hard. Marriage takes work...daily, hourly work sometimes. My marriage has been put to the test on numerous occasions and I used to let that consume me and control me and my thoughts.
So how has changing my perspective shaped how I approach marriage now? Instead of focusing on all of the things my husband does wrong or the qualities he does/doesn't possess, I have chosen to see him as a sinner, just like myself. I have chosen to love him in spite of his flaws and weaknesses, because you know what, I have them too, they just look differently. I have chosen to pursue him, even when I don't always feel pursued. I have chosen to love him and show him grace, even when I don't think he deserves it. Why do I do this? Because Jesus does this with us and I'm called to be like Jesus even when it's painful. My perspective of my husband greatly impacts how I treat him and how others perceive him. When my perspective is on honoring my husband and loving my husband in spite of his flaws, marriage doesn't seem so hard.
2.
Motherhood. Again, much like marriage, I thought motherhood was going to be MUCH easier than it actually is.
Motherhood has changed me forever. Want the raw, honest-to-God truth? In the beginning, I regretted becoming a mom. {Did I really just say that for the world to see and hear?} How dare this child take all of MY free time! How dare this child change my body shape and make it so hard to get back to how it was! How dare she make it so that her dad and I rarely get alone time! How dare she require so much attention that I no longer get to shower myself with attention! How dare she THIS or THAT. It was all in my perspective, my selfish, selfish perspective.
How has changing my perspective made me a better mother? I have learned that SHE is God's tool to bring that selfishness out and replace it with selflessness. Motherhood has a way of doing that. Am I right? Once I stopped seeing all of the negative aspects of becoming a mother, I was able to see the richness that it brings. I am now able to view my daughter's extroverted personality as a trait that I love in her father. I see her carefree spirit and it makes me appreciate her innocence and her beauty. I see her smile first thing in the morning and it reminds me daily that God's mercies are new every morning. I'm able to see her love for me in the way she simply says "mommy". She brings a new joy to every day. My perspective has drastically changed as I've grown as a mother. Has it been easy? Heck no, but remember it's a process much like turning lemons into lemonade.
3.
Self-love. I've not been shy about how I have struggled with body image since having Emerson. I used to berate myself when I'd look in the mirror. It got to the point, where I didn't see anything positive, only negative qualities. It wasn't until one day when Emerson wrapped her little arms around my leg and mumbled some little phrase about how she loved my leg, that I snapped back to reality. I sustained her. I carried her and I was able to bring her life into this world, something so many pray so desperately for. It was then that I changed my perspective.
How did changing my perspective of myself change my life? I certainly wouldn't be able to change my body without putting in the effort, so that's what I did. For the past 6-8 months, I've tried to think of one positive thing about myself daily {many days it's the same thing on repeat, lately my makeup-haha}. I now talk positively about myself TO myself and to my daughter. It's called self-love and I believe it's Godly because God has written that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, so I need to embrace that and preach it to myself. I now exercise regularly because it makes me feel confident. I wear makeup because it also boosts my confidence, not because I "need" it. I try to eat better because it helps me to feel like I'm making conscious choices to better myself in every way, plus it's important to my husband. Not to mention, by changing my perception of myself, I'm teaching my daughter that loving herself the way God made her is not only necessary, but healthy.
4.
Calling. Teaching is a calling. I truly believe that not everyone can do it because it requires a lot of patience and endurance. I didn't quit because I lack those things, but because I felt called to stay home with our daughter. Thankfully, God opened the door for us in that regard. But, as you know, that brought with it many, many struggles both for me personally and for our marriage. It left me feeling a bit empty, unproductive, and lonely. For close to 2 years, I felt like I had no clue whether I'd ever be considered a professional again. Would anyone ever look to me and feel inspired like those kids did in my classroom? Would anyone ever rely on me to get things accomplished? Would anyone ever respect me in a professional setting again? I thought no, until I changed my perspective and found Younique.
How has a new calling with Younique changed my life? I won't go into much detail, but Younique has enriched my life and renewed my spirit. Let me rephrase. Younique has changed my life as a mother, by allowing me to continue to stay home while also fulfilling my strong desire to impact others and make a difference. I feel my calling is teaching. I know it's what I was designed by God to do, that's never been a question. So, when I left the field of education, I felt lost. God changed my perspective on direct sales within days {what!} and brought me to this place, that has now put me in a leadership role. Yes, you read that correctly. It hasn't been long, but God has brought blessing upon blessing and has confirmed that He "knows the plans {he} has for me; a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future." I have now gotten to a place within this company where I am building a team underneath me, like a real legitimate team. Ladies look up to me. I AM TEACHING THEM! Did I think that I would fulfill my calling through teaching business and makeup? UM NO! But you know what? The moment I believed in myself and told myself that I deserve to feel success, accomplishment, value, and productivity outside of motherhood is when everything changed. I decided to trust that God could turn lemons {in this case fear, anxiety, unproductiveness etc} into sweet, sweet lemonade. I feel a sense of pride in my business. I am teaching. I am helping others. I am making an impact, even when I don't see it. That is how changing my perspective has already changed my life from a professional standpoint.
God has taken lemon after lemon and He has used it to change me. He's used it to better me. He's used it to mold me into the woman I am right this minute. Three months ago, I would've never expected to be on this path; to be absolutely LOVING the fact that I get to stay home full time AND work {basically full-time} AND make friends AND earn income AND feel the most confident I ever have in myself, both externally + internally. Lemons don't always have to be made into lemonade. Sometimes lemons are just a tough time that lead to a lesson {or five} that lead to something so much sweeter than you ever could've imagined. It's all in your perspective, really. How can you change your perspective?
