Like Ships in the Night

It was an occasional bicker here and there. It was an infrequent "Not tonight babe, I'm just too tired". It was a rare thing for us to have tension before our baby was born. In fact, the 9-10 months leading up to Emerson's arrival were some of my favorite times together as husband and wife. We'd bond over just staring at my belly moving. We'd talk for hours about what she'd look like, sound like, act like. We would sing to her, and make things for her.  Then, she came. Everything we'd been hoping for and dreaming of was FINALLY here, or so we thought. Truth is, what she brought with her is something I'd never expected.

Arguments, long and brutal arguments. Too many "Not tonight babe, I'm just WAY too tired's" (both from an overworked husband and a new, exhausted momma). Resentment. Anger. Frustration. Crazy work schedules. Lack of time. Lack of friendships. All of those (and many more) are things that came along with having our beautiful daughter. Marriage after baby, though very joyful in many ways, has been H.A.R.D. Can anyone relate? This post has been a long time coming. The topic has been on my heart for a while, and I recently had two different friends come to me about the struggles they've had in their marriages since adding a baby (babies) to the mix, and it just seemed like an appropriate time to write about it, so here goes...

Marriage is awesome in a lot of ways, but marriage is also very difficult in other ways. Marriage with kids is a whole new level of tough. It's like a level in a video game (don't ask me how I know this) that is impossible to beat, yet you spend hours and hours and hours trying to beat it. Marriage post-baby is a lot more "work" than I anticipated. Apparently, that's not an uncommon thought amongst our married-with-kids friends. (I'd be willing to bet this rears its ugly head in every household with children at SOME point, but if you have managed to escape it, then share your secrets and keep on keepin' on!)

What gets me is why doesn't anyone talk about just how tough married life is going to be after you have a baby? Why doesn't anyone give advice on how to keep your marriage a priority after a little human being comes along? Why was I so clueless that keeping our romance alive was going to require so much additional work than before? Why do I always have so many questions?

Ironically, I made a "date night jar" while I was pregnant, and Trey + I agreed that we'd utilize it once Emerson arrived. I think I read an article somewhere about how life changes a lot when you have a baby. OHHHHH, clearly I didn't understand it then. We had never really needed a "date night" jar before Emerson arrived, because we were pretty good about being intentional with each other...usually. I like to think the jar was my way of preparing for "marriage post-baby". Ask me if we've ever used it. in the 13 months of her life. Yikes, that's actually embarrassing to admit (granted we have been on a few dates, just not using the jar). 

Here's the thing: My husband and I have always been pretty different, aside from both being extremely stubborn and competitive, we don't have a ton in common. He likes football, I could care less (except I do like watching Clemson-he rubbed off on me). He likes beer, I like wine. He likes working out, I do...not. He's extroverted, I'm more introverted. He hates projects, I love them. He works a lot, I parent a lot. He is rational, I tend to be more emotional. You get my point; we're very different. Our differences have never seemed to be too much of an issue until this year. Like lately, our differences seem really hard to navigate, as in a lot of times, they're all that I can see. Like when he comes home sweaty after working out at the gym ALONE for hours to me sweating equally as much, but only because I've been chasing a toddler the entire time he's been gone. Or how he likes to tell me about things that happen at work with various people, and I, in an effort to feel somewhat validated, respond with something related to what Emerson did or didn't do that day.

We try to connect once Emerson is in bed at night, but honestly half of the time I'm nodding with empathy as he describes his days/nights at work, thinking to myself how there's no way in H-E-double hockey sticks I can relate to what he's saying.  He claims he understands how overwhelmed I must get at times caring for Emerson around the clock when he works days and days and days (and nights) in a row, but does he really understand? He isn't here a majority of the time, therefore there's no way he truly understands, hard as he may try.  It's lonely being me sometimes. It's frustrating being me. It's exhausting being me. WOE IS ME!

And, I crave him. I crave him like never before. I desperately miss our marriage pre-baby days. I want us to feel connected, and I want us to spend alone time together every day, but the reality is that that simply isn't an option these days. Due to his work schedule and my consumption of all things Emerson-related, we have become independent of one another, somewhat unknowingly. Again the irony of it all is that in trying to do "what's best for our family", we've lost a big piece of us. Our responsibilities have shifted and our lives have segmented themselves past the point of daily connection. Of course, we meddle in each other's lives daily, but it's just not like it used to be. He will put Emerson to bed when he's home. He will play with her and feed her and bathe her, so that I can clean up, or cook, or catch half of a television show without interruption. But despite us supporting each other in our parenting efforts, we are still like two ships in the night, sailing right past one another. When we're together just the two of us, it's usually enjoyable, but we rarely engage one another on a deeper level; on a level that needs to be reached. Let's be real honest here, our "engaging" usually revolves around a quick dinner at the table, then a joint bowl of ice-cream and a 30 minute tv show. I'm not complaining about though, because that, is better than nothing. It's really something special when our phones aren't involved, too. Don't pretend...you know EXACTLY what I mean.

This all sounds so dramatic and so painfully pathetic. Truth is, while I'm not intending to be dramatic, it is just that. Raising babies and keeping two adult lives + a relationship in tact is not easy. It takes hard work. It takes real, nitty-gritty commitment. Sometimes that commitment means continuing to swim upstream, when all you want to do is float and cruise downstream. Kids or no kids, marriage requires two people loving each other for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, IN GOOD TIMES AND IN BAD. Like I said, HARD WORK. I understand our marriage vows better now than I ever have before. So, thanks baby girl. ;)

I guess I wrote all of that to say, rest assured that if you feel like you are the "only one" that feels like your marriage is weak at the moment, or if you feel like you aren't doing enough, or if you feel like adding a baby was both the greatest and the worst thing you could've done to your relationship...you're not alone. One thing that I have learned since having a baby is that anytime I find myself feeling like "I'm the only one" that struggles with this or that, the opposite is  usually true. Nine times out of ten, God places someone or something in my path at exactly the right time to reassure me that indeed I am NOT alone in my fight. Sometimes, it's a friend (this has been especially true for me recently). Sometimes, it's a bible verse or a blog post/article. Sometimes, it's a stranger. And albeit, sometimes, it's my own spouse. You know, that one man that I pass in the night? Yeah, sometimes he's better for me than I ever thought possible. Even though we aren't always aboard the same ship, I know that amidst all the work craziness, the kid stuff, and the day-to-day, we are traveling the same direction, we just have to be intentional about arriving there together.

My Struggle Is Real, Is Yours?

"What you need to hear (hell, what all parents need to hear) is that is OK to let the dishes stack up. It’s OK to be pissed at your significant other simply for having a life outside the house. It’s OK to loathe silly songs—I for one wish that the wheels on that damn bus would fall off. It is OK to miss the woman you were. Whether you worked outside the house or not doesn’t matter, everything changes when you become a mom, and when you stay at home, there is nothing to you aside from mom, or so it seems." (To read the full blog post, go here.)

I am having one of those days where I throw myself a pity-party. Maybe it's the fact that I broke one of my favorite candles + picture frames this morning, or it could be all the rain. ALL THE GODFORSAKEN RAIN! I have been cooped up in the house with my 1 year old now for close to a week. I mean, we've gone to the store, for a quick (misty) walk, and to my parent's a time or two, but we've pretty much spent 75% of our time inside our house for the last week. I think it has caused me to lose my mind, just a little. Don't get me wrong, I love a good rainy day or two, or at least I used to. Now that I have a child, rainy days aren't so great. It basically means no outside time, no walks, no in-and-out of the car multiple times if we need to run errands. Okay, that last one is only semi-true, but it's incredibly more cumbersome to get a 1 year old (or kids of any age still requiring a carseat) in and out of the car when it's raining. I attempted it the other day, and I'm still regretting it. By the time we got home, I looked like a scene out of a scary movie: hair stuck to my face-no point in using frizz control this time, mud all over my pant legs, a soaking wet diaper bag, and let's not forget the tearful child, who's puffs got carried away by the wind. Lord help us all.

I have to be honest, I still struggle from time-to-time with this whole 'mommy hood' thing. I can hear the veteran mom's now: "oh honey, you will struggle from now until the day you die". Noted...thanks.  I clearly expect struggle with this role I've been blessed with. YES, I said blessed. But Chelsea, aren't you writing about how much you are struggling with being a mom? I have friends that would literally give anything to be in my position. I don't intend to be malicious towards those friends or towards anyone who is just head over heels in love with motherhood. I'm sure there are some of you that couldn't imagine life without your little ones. Neither can I, only sometimes I can, selfishly. I think that's normal, though. I have to remind myself that when I start resenting my husband for having "a life outside the house", or when I start to become overwhelmed by the amount of housework that needs to be done, or when I simply start missing my days of independence (you know, the ones where the only person you really were responsible for was yourself), I have to snap out of it. On days (or weeks) like these, it is so easy for me to wish away the time or to get lost in a time that will probably never be again. It is so easy for me to just want to leave the house and run away, far, far away. I obviously would never do that, especially not without Emerson. See, I'm already thinking about her and this is supposed to be a post about how sometimes I wish I didn't have to think about her. Don't judge me, you know you've had a similar thought at least once since having a baby.

I think mom's who stay home, and mom's who work have struggles. I do not think they have all of the same struggles, but they have struggles no doubt. Recently, I have really been jealous of my former self. How I have wished these past few days, that I could sleep in, watch endless amounts of mindless television, (can't believe I'm saying this, but) GO TO WORK, or even shop without having to rely on puffs + Barney, on my iPhone as a saving grace.  (Don't even get me started on the Barney thing...she loves that giant purple dinosaur and his annoyingly catchy songs). I find myself wondering "what would I be doing if...". Those thoughts tend to be dangerous for me. I don't resent my daughter in the least, or the choice I made to stay home with her. I am, however, a human being with real emotions, some of which lean on the side of jealousy. Jealousy of others, jealousy of my former self, jealousy of my husband/other working people because they get to be with other adults on a daily basis, jealousy of the seemingly easy-going spirit of other moms out there. You name it, I've probably been jealous of it (unless it relates to the loss of sleep, then I'm definitely not jealous). 

So, all of that to say, if you feel like mommy hood isn't always all it's cracked up to be, then you're probably feeling like most every other mom out there. Some days it just sucks being "mom" (note I didn't say "a mom"). Some days you just want to be "Chelsea" (insert your name there). Some days you get jealous of your spouse and his/her ability to come and go as they please because the little human is not as desperately attached to them (love you babe, really!!). And some days, you just want to remember what it's like to be without responsibility...just for a little while. THAT'S OKAY. You're not alone and you know what, the more you share your feelings, the less likely you are to get lost in them.  At least, that's how it is for me. Y'all know I'm all about putting things out in the open.

I feel better already. Maybe I have time for lunch, now that it's 3pm. Who am I  kidding? It's pouring down rain + it's looking like a dang tor-nada outside, so I've got the rest of the day to eat. Ha, again I kid, my child will want me to share anything that I try to consume. I guess you could say, she's helping me watch my weight. ;) Stay dry...

PS. If you're wondering why it looks like I highlighted this entire post, it's because I copied + pasted the first quote and for some reason, it highlighted the entire post + I cannot figure out how to undo it. So, sorry for that! :) Also, THANK YOU to anyone that has visited/followed my new IG shop or shared my previous blog post about it! I really, really appreciate it.

A Letter to Our Daughter

Dear Emerson Grace,

This letter comes on the eve of your FIRST birthday. Where has the time gone? It's been a whirlwind of a year with so many joys and challenges. We didn't know quite what we were getting ourselves into when those two lines showed up on the pregnancy test that day in December. We had so much fun watching you grow inside of Mom's belly while you kicked + squirmed (and hiccuped a lot). We got nervous and excited that night you decided you were ready to enter the world. You came on a Tuesday, at 4:38 in the morning. You were nice enough to let Mommy catch up on her Monday night television and you even waited to start your shenanigans until she finished her bowl of Mint Chocolate Chip ice-cream (Daddy is rolling his eyes at this moment). Mommy says "THANK YOU" for that, as it was her last time eating ice-cream for quite a while. You started telling your Mom that you were ready to come out around 9:45pm. You didn't waste any time and by 11pm, Mommy + Daddy were racing to the hospital because your Mommy was in a lot of pain. By 3:00am, you were very ready to be in our arms. You came into our lives with a head full of hair and chubby little cheeks (those are still our favorite feature). We were amazed that we had created such an adorable human being. You were (and still are) the most beautiful baby we'd ever seen! The first few nights with you were exhausting and overwhelming. We weren't sure of a lot of things, but we knew right away that we loved you more than we'd ever loved anyone or anything. You were our miracle.

This year, you have shown us love in the simplest of ways. I (Mom) am starting to cry writing this portion because I just can't believe how quickly a year has passed. I regret not cherishing more moments with you because now they're just a memory. Thankfully, your Daddy and I have taken tons of pictures of you to help us remember special moments of your first year. As I was getting you  ready for bed tonight, I did something I don't normally do; I rocked you. You laid your head on my chest and I just kissed you over and over. I could feel time just slipping away. You are growing so fast and every day presents new opportunities to experience your growth. You are so funny and your smile is just absolutely contagious. You light up when you see your Daddy and you crawl so fast to get to me these days. You love playing Peek-a-boo with Daddy's hat and you are extremely ticklish on your feet and sides, but really only when Daddy tickles you. You hardly cuddle up to us anymore, but when you do, the whole world stops. You don't like being left alone, and you would stay in my arms all day if I'd let you (or if I was strong enough). You are determined, strong-willed, and not afraid to ask for help (especially when you want to do something that scares you). You know sign-language and you are trying to say so many new words. Every day, it's something new and that's so exciting for us. This stage is SO fun and you are exploding in your development. It is awesome to just sit back and watch you play. But, even better than that is how wonderful it is to just watch you sleep. We don't often watch you close-up because you are a very light sleeper and seem to just be able to feel our presence, but we often just like to stare at you sleeping on the monitor as your roll around like a maniac in your crib. You sleep like your mama, girl! We love going through all the pictures we took each day after you've gone to bed. It helps us feel close to you, even though you're right in the room across the hall. We relive moments from the day by talking about the various ways you brought us joy. We sometimes cry because we can't believe how proud we are to be your Mom and Dad. You bring us more love and more joy than we'd ever imagined possible!

A few minutes after you were born.

The last picture we took before you went to bed on the night before you turned 1 year old. 

We will never be able to tell you enough just how much we adore you. You are OUR WORLD. We are honored to be your parents and we will do anything for you for as long as we live. We pray for your salvation and we hope to live out Jesus to you. You are our precious, precious miracle and we have loved getting to know you this year, as hard as it has been, you have changed our lives and we are eternally thankful for you! Happy Birthday, sweet girl. We love you so very much!

                Love Always,
                         Mommy + Daddy
                         August 25, 2015

A Cheap, Adorable + Super Quick DIY for even the DIY Challenged!

If you're a mom, soon-to-be mom, or even an aunt or friend to a little girl, then you HAVE to try this DIY. It's probably one of my favorite DIY's ever and here's why: I'm obsessed with putting headbands and bows on Emerson. Although, she looks very cute without them, WITH them she just screams adorable. I'm much too thrifty to spend a fortune on bows and headbands. Etsy has some very cute ones, as do other websites + stores, but for more than I want to spend. So, in true Chelsea fashion, I created my own for a fraction of the cost.

I've posted a tutorial on this before, but I have since deleted that blog, so I figured I'd share another (and simpler) tutorial with you guys! I recently discovered that Walmart has a whole rack of $1 bows in every color you could need in the Children's section. Dollar Tree + Big Lots also have a decent selection, as does Target (but they're a little more expensive).

Today I'm going to share how to create a headband using a pre-made ribbon bow for under $5 (or less)! These make great gifts and are super fast + fun to make. They're VERY simple and can be done in under 5 minutes, yes even for those of you that consider yourselves DIY-challenged. To make it even easier for you, I've included step-by-step picture tutorial.

Materials Needed:
Hot glue gun, hot glue sticks, scissors, pre-made ribbon bows (from one of the stores-or even another- mentioned above), elastic ribbon (shown in red), and/or braided elastic (sizes 1/4" + 1/2" used for mine + they're shown in white).

Each container was $0.97 at Walmart

$0.97 at Walmart                                           

The tutorial I am about to share costed me a total of $2 because I had the glue gun, glue sticks, and scissors on hand already. All I had to purchase was the elastic ribbon + hair bow.

Step 1 Cut your elastic to the desired length (you may need to measure your tiny human's head prior to doing this--I just guesstimated) and hot glue the ends together to create a circle (headband).

Step 2 Choose a pre-made bow that you bought and flip it over so that you're looking at the underside of the bow. (Most bows come as a "barrette or hair clip", so I'm going to show you how to remove that and still keep the bow in tact). 

Next, carefully remove the ribbon (you may have to yank it a little bit because it is glued) that is wrapped around the center of the bow in order to gently remove the barrette or clip. 

 If you've done this correctly, you should have 3 separate parts now: the bow, the center ribbon, and the clip (as seen below).

Step 3 Reattach the center ribbon by wrapping back around the middle of the bow and hot gluing the ends together on the underside of the bow. 

Step 4 Using a dab of hot glue on the ribbon headband that you created in Step 1, attach the bow to the headband (I usually glue the bow on the headband where the two headband ends came together so that that part can't be seen once the headband is assembled). 

            

Step 5 Make sure the bow is attached evenly + sturdily to the headband + put that bad boy on your little model and be amazed by her adorableness!

I created a total of 6 headbands today. I used 2 bows that I purchased from Walmart (the plain red + the cherries) and 4 smaller bows that I purchased from Dollar Tree, which came 2 to a pack. I used the white braided elastic ribbon for the smaller bows and the larger red elastic ribbon for the two larger bows. I made all 6 bows in under 20 minutes for a total cost of $7...WAYYYYY cheaper than I could ever buy them! 

Happy Crafting! 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

In the beginning it was hard, R E A L L Y hard. It was so hard in fact that I almost gave up about 2 months in. Then, it got easier and easier and easier, until one day it was like magic. Everything leveled out and it was a beautiful experience. I'm referring to breastfeeding. I have been breastfeeding Emerson for exactly 357 days. I am 8 days shy of one whole year. I say that not to boast in any way, but I NEVER thought I'd make it to this point. 

In my life, I've had some pretty great experiences. Like the 3 week backpacking tour I took across Europe with my high school senior class, or the missions trips I took to Peru and Africa throughout my years in high school and/or college. I got a car for my 16th birthday- that was pretty awesome! I met my husband at my best friend's wedding, and then went on to marry him two years later, of all things. Now, my wedding day, that was a spectacular day! It might be my favorite day of all time. It's tied for first with the day of Emerson's birth. Both days will forever be engrained in my memory. 

I will never forget the night I went into labor. Heck, I remember that like it was yesterday. I will never forget the look on Trey's face when he caught a glimpse of her for the very first time. I will never forget holding her immediately after she was born and hearing her cry for the first time. I was shaking, even my voice shook. I couldn't believe that on my chest was my CHILD. Then, there was the first time I ever fed my daughter from my body. It was awkward, at first, then it was amazing. How it was possible that I could produce enough milk to nourish my newborn baby was BEYOND me. It is like NOTHING else I've ever experienced. It was great for the first 2-3 days. Sure, I was sore, but overall I really had a good first experience with breastfeeding.

We came home from the hospital with this little baby girl and suddenly I was responsible for making sure that she was well-fed, and frequently, I might add. Talk about responsibility! My milk came in a day or so after we got home and that's when it started. The immense pain and engorgement was barely tolerable. I had so. much. milk and it hurt! I was ready to quit after just one week. I knew I wanted to breastfeed because it's "what's best for the baby", but amidst sleep deprivation, healing from delivery, AND extremely painful nursing sessions, I was exhausted and the first thing I was ready to give up was nursing. Trey begged me to keep going and to press forward, not in a condescending or mean-spirited way, but he ENCOURAGED me to keep going. He reassured me that in due time it would be well worth it, and that it would soon become a special time for Emerson and I. 

I'm so glad for his encouragement and that I chose to press onward. It's now almost exactly 12 months later, and I can say that every ounce of pain in the beginning was worth it. Every pumping session and middle of the night feed was worth it. Emerson has been weaning herself from nursing for the past few weeks. It's really, really sad for me. I have been holding back tears every night for a week. It has always been our nightly routine for me to nurse her, sing to her and then lay her down for the night. Starting a few nights ago, she would try to nurse, but would get frustrated and begin crying. I would try my best to comfort her, but I couldn't give her what she wanted..."milkies" (as I've called it). That night was probably one of the saddest nights I've had since her birth. It physically hurt my spirit that I couldn't nurse her that night. She just laid in my arms trying and sucking with all her might, but to no avail. I eventually had to give her a sippy cup with milk to calm her. I could no longer sustain her.

My mama heart ached that night. Since then, she has been doing similarly each night...trying and trying, but ultimately resorting to her sippy cup. I know the time is near; the time to stop this ritual that we've created. It has been time VERY well spent. I will never, ever in a million years regret my decision to breastfeed. Some of my sweetest memories with Emerson have happened in the rocking chair in her room where I nurse her. 

Holding onto mommy while nursing

As we slowly say good-bye to this phase of our mother-daughter relationship, I will always treasure the memories made with her during our nursing sessions together. From 10-12 sessions a day, down to just 1 now. I'm holding on to our last morning session as long as she'll have me. I will always remember how she stroked her head as she nursed to soothe herself. I will never forget how she would lovingly stare at me with those beautiful hazel eyes. I will cherish the times she dozed to sleep in my arms after nursing. I will relish the memories of just rocking her while she ate in the wee hours of the morning when all the world was still. I vow to keep the memories of our time together alive, just the two of us,  as long as I live because even though it was the worst of times to begin with, it has ended as the best of times.

You are my Sunshine

You are my sunshine// my only sunshine// you make me happy when skies are gray// you'll never know dear// how much I love you// please don't take my sunshine away.

Lyrics to a very popular children's song (or perhaps it's even considered a lullaby). Either way, a very beautiful rendition of it came on iTunes radio this morning. I was sitting at Emerson's little table playing with puzzles with her when it began playing quietly in the background. As I watched her play, I instinctively began singing along (because it's a song her daddy + I have sung to her since before she was born). Without even realizing it, I was tearing up. As I sat there watching her play, I was in awe of how much she's grown over the past (almost) year. I am amazed by her. My days are often long and tiring, there's no denying that, but moments like this one make everything worthwhile and are a reminder from God, I'm convinced, of why I quit my job to be home with our daughter. 

I know many a friend who so badly wish to stay home with their babies rather than work. While I often envy those that get to go to work everyday and have adult interaction for 6-8 hours a day, I also wish that they sometimes could experience what I do every day too. {This is not to say that someday I won't return to work, but as it stands currently, this is the direction I'm choosing.} Not just for the selfish reason of having them see just how taxing staying home with a child all day actually is (it's a job in and of itself, trust me), but because I wish they could watch their babies like I get to watch Emerson. By watch, I mean it in the literal sense, as in "stare" or "take in". I don't always play with her or interact with her. Though she is definitely attached to my hip more often than not, there are occasional times each day where I like to just watch her play or stare into space or roll around or talk to herself or discover new things. There is no greater joy as a mother than just watching your little babe develop and discover new things.

Just now as I type this, Emerson is sitting at my feet playing with some blocks. She is very content. She occasionally reaches and tugs on my pant leg  + looks up at me with those beautiful hazel eyes. I just smile because she's so pretty. She continues playing with her blocks and books, then randomly stands against the recliner where I'm sitting and gazes at me, then her little arms extend up anxiously hoping I'll reach down and gather her up in my arms, which I do, of course. She sits there with me for no more than a minute or two and we sing and dance to the song playing, then she begs to get down to continue playing. I LOVE THAT! The need for a cuddle, or a smile, or a gentle embrace. THAT is what makes being here day after day worth it. If she were elsewhere, I would have much more time to "be an adult", yes, but I wouldn't get to experience all those little moments that occur simply because I AM here. I love her cuddles and the little glances that she shoots me when I least expect them.

Emerson will be one in two weeks. Y'all, I cannot wrap my brain around that. I swear she was just the size of a little poppyseed in my belly. Her daddy and I were just starting to fantasize about what she would look like: the color of her eyes, the shape of her little hands and feet, about whether or not she would have any hair, and we certainly liked to dream about those chubby cheeks. Now, here she is almost a year later crawling and standing and talking and dancing and trying to sing (be still my heart). She has the most gorgeous features and that curly hair is killing me. She can pierce me with a single tear and her smile, it's to die for. I am tearing up right this second thinking about everything we've experienced together during her first year of life. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions. It's been hard on me, the marriage between her daddy and I, and honestly on my life in general, but amidst all of the difficulties, it's been so very, very worth it. She is truly a piece of my heart walking (almost) around outside of my body. She is growing everyday and it hits me a little more each day that she's becoming an actual little person with feelings, and a very fierce personality. She is becoming more and more independent, and selfishly that makes me sad. Everyday, though she is still VERY attached to me, she needs me just a little tiny bit less. 

I am so thankful for the lessons that she's taught me and how the Lord has used her life to forever change and better mine. I have learned new things about myself (both good and bad) and about my husband through this experience of motherhood. I am so excited to see what the future holds and I pray to God that He never takes my sunshine away from me while I'm on this Earth. I just love her too much. Though, I know that somehow He loves her even more. She will always be our sunshine.

Gotta Start Somewhere

I'm a blogger failure. I get really into it for about a month and then fade off. Then an idea comes to mind that I'd like to write about, but reality is that I don't always have/make the time to write it down on paper (or realistically, type it out on the computer). I think that's okay though. I used to follow blogs that would post anywhere from once daily to 3-4 times a day and that's just overkill. Ain't nobody got time for that. 

I'm here today to say that I'm making progress on my fitness goals. If you follow me on IG or FB, you know that I started the Beach Body 21 Day Fix program 14 days ago and I am already seeing results. I haven't lost much weight, but I have lost close to 5 inches total so far (just from hips + thighs). I have been struggling because when I step on the scale, I don't see a decrease (well, not much of one anyway) and that is discouraging. But, my husband being the fitness extraordinaire that he is, reminded me that muscle weighs more than fat, so even though I'm not losing weight, that doesn't mean the program isn't working. *Sigh* Ahhh...thanks for the encouragement Hubs. I'm not here today to boast about my progress or anything, I simply want to state some of the other benefits I've seen from doing this program so far. This program includes a 30 minute daily workout and a nutrition plan that portions out your daily caloric intake to help you get the necessary nutrients your body needs, while helping you see the results you desire. It doesn't require me to give up foods I like necessarily, but it does limit the quantity of servings of each food group (carbs, protein, healthy fats, etc). My only cheat on a daily basis is my cup of ice-cream at night while I relax on the couch). Ain't nobody or no thang taking that away from me. Sorry, not sorry. I have even limited the amount of wine I drink on a weekly basis...the struggle is so very real, y'all. The stressed teacher and mother in me is screaming MORE WINE, NOW!

Reasons why I'm loving the 21 Day Fix:

1. It gets my day started. I wake up, change/nurse/read with Emerson, then I feed Emerson again (actual food this time), then I make myself something to eat + I workout. I try to workout either before or during Emerson's first nap of the day. If I don't do it first thing in the morning, it (for some reason) doesn't get done-I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that it has to do with my tiny human. Something about working out and sweating makes me feel more productive the remainder of the day. I don't get it, but it does.

2. I feel hotter, sexier, prettier....choose whichever adjective you'd like. No doubt that working out on a daily basis has boosted my self-confidence. Even though I can't see a drastic change in my body quite yet, I FEEL better, which in turn, makes me more confident. I can't explain it, it's just how it is. You ladies have been there: you can have all the makeup in the world, have the fittest body, cute clothes, etc, but unless you FEEL good about yourself, it's all moot. Am I right? Working out and eating (more) healthy does this for me.

3. I'm nicer. I don't know if it's the release of endorphones or what, but I am in a MUCH better mood after I've had a workout. It's probably directly linked to number 2 above. :)

4. It makes my husband proud. As I mentioned, he is a fitness freak. Okay, that's a lie. He's not a freak, he just likes working out and eating right. He's always (nicely) trying to remind me to be active for MY health, not for his sake. When I was pregnant, I was very health conscious and I was very active. He was very proud of me, I could just tell. He never had to say it. It was written all over his face and it was obvious that he was proud of me. I like making him proud because it turn, it makes me feel good. Again, back to number 2 above. I see a pattern here. I want him to be proud of me and I want to be HOT for him. Let's be honest, mom or not, our bodies change over time, so if I want to look good and feel good, I've got to put in the time. No more *wishing* that hot bod into existence.

5. I want to prove people wrong. I won't name names, but people have made comments about my weight post-baby. I'm not mad at them because I HAVE gained weight. Though I'd like to say it doesn't get to me, it really does. I know none of the comments have been mean-spirited, but the fact that people have noticed that I've packed on pounds doesn't exactly make me FEEL good. Oh, there it is again...back to number 2. I want to stick with this program for a LONG time because I want to prove to myself and to others that, even after gaining 30 pounds and nursing a baby for 11 months now, I can get my body back...and in better condition than it was when I left it.

I just know that when it comes down to it...I gotta start somewhere, and this seemed like a great place to start. So, here's to feeling better and looking good! How are you keeping yourself feeling good?

DIY Tent Canopy

You guys know that I love a good DIY, especially when it can be done on the cheap! Emerson's room has had a daybed in it since she was born. I thought I would get a lot of use out of it, but it ended up just taking up space, more than anything. I've been wanting some extra seating in our playroom anyway, so I removed the daybed (all by myself...beast mode) yesterday from her room + rearranged the playroom to accommodate the daybed. ANYWAY, my original reason for writing today is to share with you a quick tutorial on creating a tent canopy for your kiddo. I saw an idea on Pinterest a while back that involved creating a nook for your little one to use as a reading/play space. I've seen teepees that are super cute, but in my opinion, are a little more "boyish" and I wanted something girly for my little lady. Emerson's nursery is pretty girly anyway, so I didn't really think a teepee would fit the space. I opted for a canopy that you can DIY, naturally. I fell in love with the idea immediately after I saw this picture. I love how airy and light it is, too! You can find the tutorial that I originally read by clicking here. 

I chose to put my own spin on it. In all I spent about $25, and it took me less than thirty minutes to make. For the canopy I created, you'll need the following materials:

* 2.5 inch Ceiling hooks (You can buy 1 hook for ~ $0.99 at Walmart)

* 1 hula hoop (I wanted a larger hoop so that the canopy would be plenty spacious inside. I got my  hoop at Dollar Tree + they had various sizes. I got the 23 or 26in hoop-can't remember which)

* 1 spool of 1 inch ribbon (I used white)

* 4 floor length sheer curtain  ROD POCKET panels (I used white + I got mine at Big Lots for $5 each, for a total of $20). I almost wish I would've done 5 or 6 to make it a little fuller, but it works for now.

Instructions:
FIRST, you'll need to cut your hula hoop. Mine had a section where it had been taped together with clear packing tape. I simply used a sharp scissors to cut the hoop in half where that tape was.

SECOND, slide all 4 sheer panels onto the hoop when you cut it open, just like you would slide them onto a curtain rod.

THIRD, align the hula hoop back together and tape it back up with clear packing tape. I put several pieces just to be sure it wouldn't come apart, because little hands will be tugging on the panels.

FOURTH, cut 4 pieces of ribbon to the same length. For this part, you'll want to measure how far from the ceiling you want your canopy to hang. I didn't measure mine, I just eyeballed it. I would guess it's about a foot and half from the ceiling (or ~18-20 inches). I wish I would've done it closer to the ceiling though, honestly because there's a lot of slack curtain on the floor and I foresee that being an issue with an on-the-verge-of-crawling baby.

FIFTH, attach each piece of ribbon the the hula hoop in between each curtain panel. So, where each of the 4 panels meet is where you'll tie the ribbon. I hope that makes sense. I didn't take pictures, sorry!

SIXTH, bring all 4 ribbon pieces together in a triangular fashion and tie them in a knot.

SEVENTH, drill a hole in the ceiling and mount your hook where you want it.

EIGTHTH, hang your canopy using the knotted portion of the ribbon from step 6.

NINETH, add cushions, pillows, and/or blankets to the inside to create a cozy little space for your little munchkin.

The final product is shown below.

I do plan on adding lights + some plush cushions (I saw an idea of recovering a dog bed) to hers eventually. For now, she has some soft blankets/quilts on the floor as cushioning. I hope you guys can use this to create something fun for your tiny humans! I'm off to create some DIY rain gutter bookshelves to place next to her new canopy! More on that another day! Until then...

My Best Friend

According to Urban Dictionary, "Best friends are very special people in your life. they are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you're sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world. They are a shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases, they would take a bullet for you, because it would be too painful to watch you get hurt."

Yesterday was (apparently) National Best Friend Day, or as I affectionately call it "Besties Forevvvvvva Day". I don't really call it that, it's just more fun to say type. In all honesty, I didn't even know that was a day until someone told me. Friend fail, on my part. While I have many friends, only a few earn the title of "best" friend. It's hard to pinpoint ONE best friend, and honestly, who wants to do that? I used to get jealous if someone referred to me and someone else as their "best friend". I think I was weird last week back in middle school. Anyway, as I was saying, I have a couple of friends that I consider to be "best" friends. I'm not going to mention any names, well, except for one.

Emerson.

That's right. My daughter. She's my best friend right now. I say 'right now' because she'll have others that come along to take the place of her "bestie", but for now, the title is mine, ALL mine.  Sure, Trey ranks pretty high up there in terms of being 'my best friend', obviously, along with a few others, but Emerson is unique. She knows me like no one else, quite literally. She is the only one (so far) that has heard my heartbeat from the inner parts of me. She is the only one that has recognized me without having ever seen me. She knows the rhythms of my heartbeat and the sounds of me within. She is the only one that is truly and completely a part of me. None of my other "best friends" can claim that.

Usually, best friends spend a lot of time together, unless they live far apart. They tend to be inseparable when they're together. They look out for one another and they defend each other. They thrive off of one another. Usually, much like a marriage partner, they bring different qualities to the table; qualities that offset each other, yet enhance the relationship. Emerson and I have that. Odd to say, maybe, and you're probably thinking, 'But, Chelsea, she's just a baby'. You are correct, she is just a baby, but she's also SO much more than that. 

Emerson and I have spent every -single- day together since the moment she was born (really since conception, if you want to get technical). I have not left her for more than several hours (I'm working on it--part of that is a completely other story that I'll write about another time).  I don't remember what it's like to be without her.  Yes, some days are long and boring and hard and frustrating, but even in the most mundane moments, she brings me immense joy. Joy like no other friend of mine can provide. One smile can cure an hour of frustration. One little giggle can erase an entire day of tension and tears. I know every detail of her little body. The way her hair curls in one spot on the left side of her head. Or the way her nose wrinkles every time she gets frustrated. I know she loves God's creation, even though she doesn't quite know Him yet.  I adore the way she peeks around the corner when she heres my voice or how she screeches with joy when we tickle this one certain spot.  She listens to me when I'm sad (mostly because she has no choice); sometimes we even cry together-- that happened a lot when she was itty bitty. She laughs with me (or at me). She holds me tight, seemingly never wanting to let me go. She seems to know when a cuddle will make everything alright, if even for just a moment. I stare at pictures of her after she goes to bed at night, even though I have spent the whole day with her. Her life makes mine very worthwhile. Her presence on this Earth has made mine so much more valuable. She will never know the tremendous joy and pain I felt when she first came into my life, both physically and emotionally. And she will never know the heartache I feel when I imagine my life without her. She is my pride and joy, and for now, she is my very best friend.

For the Unappreciated Mom (or Wife)

I read an article this morning that really struck me. Probably because it resonated with EVERYTHING I have felt throughout the last 9 months of my life. Before you continue reading, I encourage you to click here to read the article that I will be referencing throughout this entire post. I  will be pulling excerpts from it, so you'll understand even if you choose not to read the article, but it was THAT good, that I recommend you do indeed read it.

For anyone that is questioning my post title today, it is with good reason. You may have thought, "Chelsea is feeling unappreciated?" or "Oh, I totally need to read this because I AM an unappreciated mom". I would venture to say that both of those are true actually, but the post is titled as it is because the article I reference today is titled "A Screwtape Letter for the Unappreciated Mom".  If you're unfamiliar with the book The Screwtape Letters, then this article may be a little odd to you. I borrowed the following explanation about the book from an online source (here). The Screwtape Letters are written in the form of letters. The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis is an amusing and insightful correspondence between a senior devil, Screwtape, and his incompetent nephew, Wormwood, a "young fiend." All of the letters are from Screwtape to Wormwood, and the subject of the correspondence is a human being, newly converted to Christianity, whom Screwtape refers to as "the patient." Throughout the correspondence, Screwtape tries to help Wormwood tempt the patient away from Heaven and into Hell. He encourages his nephew's successes, suggests various and devious ways to enter the man's thoughts and influence him. 

The article referenced today is a letter written similar to those in Lewis' book. It is written from Screwtape to his nephew, Wormwood and it's all about how "a tired Mom makes for a more emotional Mom, and an emotional Mom is a vulnerable one", hence able to be easily swayed in her thoughts and actions. 

In the letter, Screwtape addresses the marriage. "First, aim your best efforts at her marriage.

As you know, we cannot do much with a unified marriage.  Luckily for us, a cranky and exhausted wife can do wonders to change that.  We must convince her that her husband is no longer the friend and ally she first married.  Instead, we must reveal every sin and selfish habit, especially drawing attention to his thoughtless actions (mal-intended or not) against her." How true this is, my friends! I have been guilty of this very thought pattern. I have been beyond exhausted, and "cranky" is putting it nicely. I have been way too good at pinpointing my husbands every flaw and calling him out on it. I have learned this is not effective, but ohhh it's a very real way that Satan hunts me down and snakes his way in.

Secondly, do what you can to keep her focused on her troubles and pains.  Remind her how much her back aches, how draining the children were all day, and how many undone tasks still beckon her.  Do not let her wonder what difficulties her husband faced that day or whether his back might also be aching.  Valuing others above oneself is one of those silly, though strangely effective, tactics of the Enemy.Along those lines, be sure the Mother starts to value productivity above everything else.  Have her wake up early and work non-stop until bedtime. Convince her that as long as there is a shred of work to be done (and there always is), no one should be resting.  Then, as she folds and sweeps and he sits, you can introduce the sweet bitterness of resentment. This may come as no surprise, but I'm especially guilty of this. I am ALWAYS feeling the need to DO something. I get so (inwardly, but sometimes outwardly too) annoyed when Trey gets to just sit and I have to clean this, or fold that, or pick up those things. I fail to realize that he works near every day of the week for 12-24 hrs. at a time. Granted, I do too, but it's different. I'm with our daughter all the time, while he's not. He's missing out on quite a bit and I know he would change that if he could. I do not give him the credit he deserves. He works not one, but TWO jobs so that I can stay home with her. He works ungodly hours so that we don't have to put our daughter in daycare 40+ hours a week (nothing against those that have to do that). He can be selfish, but I would argue that he's much more selfLESS than I most times. He and I have discussed my resentment towards him on numerous occasions. It seems from reading the article that 9 times out of 10, I bring the resentment on myself. Funny, how that works.

Remember, the love of a husband can be dangerous to our cause.  If he senses her unhappiness, he may begin to help or (even worse) show her affection. True story from just the other night. Trey had worked a 12 hour shift at the hospital and it had been a fairly easy day for me at home with Emerson. After she went to bed around 7, I made dinner for us (ashamedly, something that has not been a common phenomenon lately). He was to get off at 8. Dinner was ready before he got home, so I ate and I had it all ready for him to eat as soon as he walked through the door. It was a new recipe and I was so excited for him to try it, let alone see that I had actually made dinner. He got home around 9p and I presented him with his dinner after he sat down. His first words, "Ew, is this red pepper?" Strike 1.  Followed by, "And babe, why did you put mango in this?" Strike 2.  "I don't like any of this stuff." Strike 3.  My quick, non-thought out response (now highly annoyed because I'd just spent the past hour making dinner for him only to have him nit pick it before even trying it), "Just eat the damn food, Trey." Ouch, probably not the best choice of words on my part. This made him highly agitated and he took his bowl and went in the other room. That was our night. The silence was present for a while, but eventually it just kind of passed and we moved on, after, of course, I voiced why that had upset me and unprompted he cleaned the entire kitchen and sink full of dirty dishes. This just goes to show that actions speak far louder than words.

Now, onto the children.  Lovely little opportunities for us, the children, especially the little ones. We must convince her that the obnoxious little people she has charge of are not really worth her sacrifice.  When the Mother first dreamed of having children, she probably imagined large, innocent eyes and chubby, happy grins taking up the majority of her days.  Do your best to shatter those expectations. Instead, draw attention to how much they take from her.  Let them take and take and take…  And need and need and need, until the Mother feels totally spent... Do your best to make the day-to-day monotony of diaper changes, meals, and baths seem simultaneously overwhelming and beneath her.  Let her think of all the better, more important things she could be doing with her life, if only she didn’t have the children. Like a knife, this cut me...deep. I have been guilty of feeling like everything I do for Emerson is (somehow) beneath me. That I, an educated woman, am stuck here tending to poopy diapers and playing on the floor day in and day out. I could be doing so much more, like shopping or creating DIY projects, or teaching little minds. You know, important stuff! How can caring for my "obnoxious little person" compare to all of that. OH, how the Lord has been changing my heart. I have just recently realized the value of my presence in her life. She needs me more than I can possibly imagine. She relies on me for everything...literally. I am her sustainer at the present moment. I am teaching her to become a valuable part of God's creation. I am responsible for her well-being as long as she's present on this Earth and there is NOTHING that could possibly compare to that. NOTHING.

Finally, the letter ends with Screwtape writing to Wormwood about how he needs to be sure to make her look to her husband for worth and affirmation.  Then, when he lets her down (as he is sure to do), she will be ours to torment.  This is hard. I can't tell you how many times daily I look to my husband to fulfill some need, want, or desire. It is not his responsibility (though he does play a significant part) to insure that I am fulfilled as a child of Christ. I still find it difficult to rely solely on Christ for fulfillment. Trey will never be able to give me the desires of my heart. He may make a dent in some of them, but he doesn't even know half of them. Only Christ does and only He can fill the depths of my soul where my deepest yearnings dwell. 

Are you convicted yet? I surely was. I hope that you took (or will take) the time to read the linked article as it is far more convicting than my post here. I just hope that some of you can resonate with these points and that they cause you to reevaluate some areas of your life, as they have for me. 

Until next time...
                                    

I took word for word excerpts from the linked article above and give full credit to the author of the article for the valid points made within. I take no credit for anything written in italic print above. 

The Mom Bod

It's no secret that a woman's body goes through drastic changes during and after pregnancy. This was us circa 2011, a year after we got married. I didn't work out, I didn't watch what I ate, and yet I still looked like this. How is that even physically possible? {Teacher stress, that's how!}

Well, that was great while it lasted. Not only, has my body structure changed since then (mostly since having a baby), but I can't just eat whatever I want anymore with little consequence. Yeah, I still love ice cream and an occasional Coke, but I rarely have either of those anymore. I have curbed my eating habits tremendously (ask my husband), but I still enjoy food. I don't want to go through life only "being allowed" to eat certain things. That's no fun and quite frankly, makes me pretty miserable. I feel confident knowing that I'm making healthy choices 90% of the time. I don't want to force myself into an exercise regiment or an eating regiment that causes me to lose sight of what's important in life. Food and exercise are both wonderful and I usually enjoy both, but I don't enjoy making that my focus because then that's where all of my energy goes and that's not healthy. That was somewhat of a tangent, sorry! Back to business...

I, probably like many of you, have been very hard on myself post-baby. I used to be a size XS/S and now I'm a M (and even sometimes a L). That has been a hard pill for me to swallow. I am still breastfeeding, and I'm pretty sure it's causing me to hang on to some extra weight because no matter what I do, I can't shed those last 8-10 pounds of "baby weight". Is it still considered that if your baby is almost a year old? LOL!

{I want to preface this next part by adding that I do not intend to offend or upset anyone with this post or with what I'm about to say}. Anyway, I'm not used to being an 'average' sized woman. That sounds SO horrible to say, but it's true. I've always been skinny and petite. I'm still petite, but not nearly as skinny. Let me clarify by saying that I am in no way saying I'm fat or obese or anything like that, so please don't misunderstand. What I am saying is that this new body of mine is an adjustment. I often forget that this new body of mine carried and sustained a human life for 9+ months (18 if you count breastfeeding). That's an amazing feat! I tend to find all of the "gross" parts of my body and focus on them. I fail to recognize that the extra weight I have around my mid-section that's still fairly loose (you know, that pooch we all hate) is from my abdomen stretching and reorganizing itself to accommodate an almost 8 lb baby. I ignore the fact that my wider hips are from my pelvis physically expanding to birth a tiny human. (*Ouch*). And these larger arms are from carrying that 8lb (now closer to 15lb) baby around for 9 months. The girl loves her mama, what can I say? The cellulite on my upper thighs, well I'm not sure what part of pregnancy caused that, but I am sure it's to blame. :P

Here's the deal (ladies!), I, though still small in comparison to many, have insecurities. I have been embarrassed at times by my body. I hide it from my husband sometimes (like he hasn't seen it already or something). That's how we got in this (wonderful) predicament in the first place! I try to fit into old clothes in an attempt to "feel" skinnier. Honestly, that completely backfires every time. Just buy some new pants Chelsea, seriously. Since having Emerson, I try to eat right and I try my best to get some form of exercise daily. I try to get plenty of rest and I TRY to keep positive thoughts in my head when I look in the mirror. If I'm being honest, that last one is the hardest. I beat myself up way too much. I need to just accept the fact that my body HAS changed and it's the new me. That doesn't mean that I will settle and say 'screw it'. I will continue to work towards change, but, what I also intend to do from here on out is to speak positively to myself when I see my reflection. Trey encourages me and tells me I'm beautiful, but I need to tell myself, or it means nothing.

In the end I find myself wondering 'who it is I'm really trying to impress anyway?'.  I have a terrific husband who loves me as I am, a God that made no mistake with me, and I have a beautiful daughter that made me this "new" way. I think I'm good with that. Maybe this "mom bod" isn't so bad after all...

A Little Bit of Luck

Sleep. It's such a vital part of life! Wouldn't you agree? Even before having a baby, I needed 7-8 hours of sleep a night in order to function. So imagine my horror in finding out that a baby doesn't sleep that easily by themselves from the get-go...not at night anyway. I was a hot, hot, HOT mess after Emerson was born, but I won't go into that. Let's just say that after our second night in the hospital with her, I was willing to have her put back in my belly for a while. Okay, nevermind, that sounds really disgusting, but you know what I mean. I really think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was extremely sleep deprived, which poured over into everything else. Without sleep, you just can't function properly. I'll never understand why God created motherhood in such a way that at the time in your life when you probably need the most sleep, you receive the least amount of sleep. Not sure what He was thinking there, but obviously He knows what He's doing, so I'll just let that one go.

People used to (and still sometimes do) tell me how "lucky" I am (was?) to have a baby that slept through the night so early on. I want to respond to said people with something other than "thank you", because little do they know that I WORKED MY BUTT OFF to sleep train Emerson. It was no easy task. Also, she was a pretty tough newborn, and so I paid for it during the day when she wasn't sleeping. I'm 95% sure she had colic the first 3 months or so, but I'll never actually know.

Back to my original point, getting her to sleep through the night. It required many, many nights of getting out of bed anywhere from 5-10 times a night and required much diligence and determination on my part. "Night" here meaning between the hours of 11p-6a. I will say that we have been extremely blessed with a good sleeper from the get-go. Emerson was never a party-all-night kind of girl, but then again I started a bedtime routine 2-3 weeks in and it has not changed since. We do the same routine every night in the same exact order. I really, truly believe that's why she's so easy to put to bed and part of why she knows bedtime is bedtime and not party time.

Why am I telling you all of this? I have had several people ask me over the course of the last couple of months how I got Emerson to sleep through the night so early on. I won't take 100% credit for it, because I really believe it was a God thing (I believe He knew I needed a saving grace + that was mine), but I will take about 75% of the credit. My post today is to explain how our sleep and nighttime routine works, to the best of my ability and without sounding A- HA-HA-HA-HA-HA about it.

From the get-go, I started Emerson on an "eat-wake-sleep" routine, meaning she would nurse, then be awake for a while, then take a nap. I tried to keep this routine going throughout the day starting from basically day 1. This really helped me determine wake/sleep times, and it helped us get on a good feeding routine that was very consistent from day to day. I definitely recommend trying to get on a similar routine if you haven't already, unless you just don't care about a routine, then forget everything I just said. :)

As I mentioned above, I started a bedtime routine with her around 2-3 weeks of age. I had read several books/articles and every. single. one honed in on the importance of a bedtime routine when trying to establish day vs. night. From very early on, we made sure that after about 6pm the house was somewhat dim (especially her room) and we kept things very low-key after that time. I should also note that Emerson began sleeping IN HER CRIB IN HER OWN ROOM at like 3 or 4 days old. She was too noisy and no one was getting any sleep when she was in our room (again, this is not for everyone, but it's what worked for us).

 We started her bedtime routine about 6:30p every night, which consisted of the following (in order):
6:30p  Warm bath with lavender soap  (sidenote: she hated baths until about 1 month old)
6:40ish  Lotion, pjs, and a quiet song (usually "You are My Sunshine" or "Wheels on the Bus")
6:50ish Nurse with mommy in the rocking chair in her nursery (same place every night)
(When she was really little we would swaddle her after nursing and Trey was usually responsible for this because he could ALWAYS get it way tighter than I ever could. Emerson was quite the swaddle Houdini.)

After swaddled, I would hold or rock her gently and sing "Jesus Loves Me". Then, I'd lay her down, kiss her, insert paci, and leave. Here's where it got tricky sometimes. She didn't figure out how to keep the paci in for a quite a while, so reinserting the paci happened several times before she actually fell asleep most nights. Once she was good and asleep, and the paci fell out it then didn't bother her. The toughest thing for a while was PACI REINSERTION about 5-8 times a night, not including in the middle of the night.

For the first 3 months, she would go to "bed" at 7pm and wake every 3 hours ON THE DOT to nurse. She never skipped a meal, not by my doing...that was ALL her. She ate at 7p, 11p, 1-2a, 4-5a, and again when she woke for the day at 7a. If she woke up to nurse anytime after 5am, I would always put her back down until her daily wake up time at 7a. Around 2 months old I started doing what's referred to as a "dream feed", where I would pick her up out of her crib still VERY drowsy and nurse her, then lay her right back down after she was finished (often she would fall back asleep in my arms). I would do this around 10:30p (or before I went to bed) every night. So she'd have been asleep since around 7p, then I'd dream feed at 10:30-11p, and she'd sleep until 2-3a. Around 2.5 months she started skipping that 1am feed and it just kept getting pushed closer and closer to her 4-5am feed. So, I knew she didn't NEED that 1a feeding anymore. I took it upon myself to wean her off of the 1a feeding by inserting her paci whenever she'd wake. This was TOUGH. It took about 1-1.5 weeks to fully wean her from this feeding before she just started skipping it altogether. Some nights it meant me getting up and reinserting the paci 4-8 times. Everntually, she just stopped waking up for it, so by close to 3 months she was sleeping 7p (dream feed at 11p) until close to 4a. Shortly after I weaned her of that feeding she eventually found her thumb and once she did, the rest was history. She started self-soothing around 3 months old, which is when she started sleeping through the night consistently. She dropped the  4am feed on her own. She just didn't wake up for it one night and then she never woke for it again. At almost exactly 3 months old, she started sleeping 12+ hours a night, 7p-7a and she hasn't looked back since (knock on wood).

I don't know if I explained that very well at all, but I guess the key for us was consistency. From teaching, I know that kids THRIVE on routine and consistency, and that has proven true with our daughter as well. Find out what works and stick to it. Try not to switch things up too much because then you'll just confuse the baby. In regards to naps, I did use a version of the "Cry It Out" method (though hard to do was VERY successful for us). I won't go into that because I do believe there's already a post on it somewhere on my blog. I'll try to find it later and link it here.

I hope some of you find this helpful. I hope I didn't make anyone cry or get mad because their baby isn't doing this. TRUST ME when I say that I WAS THERE TOO! Just remember, it will happen eventually. Just keep doing the best you can, because really, that's all you can do. Though, I guess a little bit of "luck" doesn't hurt either...